Extremes

Just a quick post before bed-
My favourite days are the stormy ones. We had a great one recently- Warm and sunny in the morning, lots of business, and then around 2pm some stormclouds rolled in. You know it's going to be a good one when the temperature drops ten degrees. We began to clear our water for lightning, and as everyone packed up and schlepped all their things off the beach, the heavens opened. Eventually, we were given permission to seek shelter, and three adjacent guards and I sought it in the covered parking structure under the Disney Beach House. Radio reception in there was spotty, but there was a collective groan when we made out the transmissions from area supervisors clearing their guards to head back to the beach. Finally, Area 2 was cleared and we trudged back out. It was still lousy enough though that there were very few people left, and that made breakdown that much easier. 

Wednesday was packed. In the morning, there was a baby shark that was found rolling in the waves, dead, a mess of hooks and lures and line tangled about it. I really hate when fishermen are too dumb to know how to properly fish in the surf. Not knowing how to, or too afraid to handle dangerous marine life that they catch, they cut their line and just let the poor sharks or stingrays back into the water, only to wash up dead and dangerous later. I don't want to think of what could have happened if someone stepped on the three open hooks in that cluster. My neighbour Hana (also Canadian) and I worked to free the shark, and then disposed of the hooks and shark appropriately. 

Later that morning, we were drawn to the water's edge by a crowd of pointers (not a good sign) that was growing by the second. Arriving there, we found that there was a 4 foot shark cruising quite close in. We did our thing and cleared the water, and as an unfortunate side effect, attracted more attention. The shark was close and shallow enough that we could see both the tail and dorsal fins clearly out of the water, much to the delight and shock of the crowd. Our main priority was crowd control. I was on my bare feet for three hours as this stupid shark did LAPS (!), starting north at the Marriott and heading down to the Disney, and then back again. Every so often it would disappear and the crowd would lose interest, only to be brought back frantically running to the water's edge by a shout. Eventually, it left the area for long enough (30 mins) for us to let people back in. 

That afternoon, we heard reports from guards to the south that the weather was starting to look bad and winds had picked up. This must have prompted a look at the radar, because a few moments later, Alan at Shore Base called all the guards and let them know to close any unused umbrellas. Several minutes later, a decidedly more distressed voice let us know that we could 'accelerate the teardown process.' This is a happy call, as an early breakdown means that we get to get off the beach, to the office, and then home much quicker. Usually we must wait till 5 to start, but we started at 4:15. Our highchairs watched the water while we rental guards packed up at a more leisurely pace than usual.  To the south, the skies had definitely blackened. I had the opportunity to look at a screengrab of the radar from that time this afternoon, and it indeed looked like we were about to be demolished by a storm. Weirdly, though, it dissipated and that evening's training went ahead as planned. I'll try and get to trainings in my next post. 

Windy City

Today was windy. I'm not messing about. Seriously windy. I'm talking 30mph winds constantly through the day.

When I got on to the beach, I had to laugh at the sheer ridiculous-ness of the situation. It was like I was being sandblasted as the wind whipped off the surf and picked up loose sand. I started my setup, and it became clear that there would not be the usual Sunday crowd headed to the beach that day due to the weather. (overcast and blowy as hell) My original setup plan diminished from 15 and 15 to 8 and 8. All the umbrellas I dug were inserted on an angle against the wind, and they were left unopened to further prevent any flying-away. I finished early due to my reduced setup, and so did all the other guards in the area.

We took one look at the really rough surf and immediately knew what to do. We all grabbed body boards from our rental stands and went as far north as we could; a little past the Marriott. We strapped on the leashes and hit the water. The surf, propelled by the strong offshore winds, was huge by Hilton Head standards. The four foot breakers and the wind whipped up a ton of white water and swirling strong currents. We caught a few fun waves in, but most of the time was spent just trying to stay afloat in the rough surf.

As 9 o clock drew near, we got out and discovered we had been pulled nearly a quarter mile south by the longshore current. We all ran back to our stands and I had just enough time for a shower and sunscreen before I opened my umbrella. I decided today was a 'shirt' day, and as such, didn't bother with sunblock on my chest, back, or arms. I ended up wearing my shirt and windbreaker all day.

My hair suffered today. My straight, thin hair gets a 'blowout', were it basically stands on end when it's windy out. I don't want to imagine how silly I looked. It ended up that a fair number of people came to the beach, which took extra effort to guard. I had spotted several rips forming, and we made sure to keep everyone in waist-deep water. (which, with our shallow slope, is still fairly far out). Fortunately, we were able to keep everyone in close enough to stay out of danger (a danger ZONE, perhaps?) and we didn't have to pull anyone out.

I stayed later at the office today talking with a supervisor friend of mine, David, who is a film-school grad. We talked about some new cameras that came out, and shared our thoughts on different technologies. We talked in the 'backyard' of the office, where they keep the jeeps and all the equipment. David and all the other supervisors have to wash the Jeeps everyday, due to their constant exposure to salt and sand. We talked and he washed. When I emerged into the office again, all the other guards had gone home, and it was just me and the supervisors.

A few veteran guards and I went out to an Asian buffet tonight (Vari Aisan) and I had a wonderful, fun time with them.

That's all I can think to get down about today, hopefully I'll post again soon. Just thought I'd share the big Sunday I had.

So far, so good.

So: here's how I'm spending my days.

At about 6.50, the light comes in my bedroom window (the blinds don't really work), and I'm up and mostly ready for a day on the beach. It's a bit too early to be going just yet, so I usually read a chapter of whatever book I'm reading. (At the moment, it's the third Harry Potter. I'm doing a summer re-read of the series).  I put on a pair of lifeguard trunks, into the kitchen for oatmeal, make my lunch, fill up my water jug, and it's out the door. I head downstairs to where the bike racks are and unlock my bike.

I usually have to contort myself into a tight space to get at the lock, because many of the other residents here are not considerate bike-rack users, and frequently take up way too much room.

From there, it's a two-mile ride to the Disney Beach House (I can make it in about 13 minutes) where I lock up my bike again and head out onto the beach. It's usually nice and quiet around that time, about 7.45-8 o'clock- usually only dog walkers and joggers.

I set down my bag and set about setting up the rental equipment for the day. I head up to my North box, which contains my lifeguard equipment, boogie boards, and half my umbrellas. First to come out are the Rescue Can and First Aid Kit, in case any emergencies come up while I'm setting up.

 Next, I get my hole-digger out. The hole-digger is a highly sophisticated piece of equipment (read: pointy metal stick) which you jam into the ground and row back and forth until you have a 1 1/2 foot deep hole, in which to stick an umbrella. I've put a hockey stick grip on mine. Jam, row, repeat, 20-30 times on an average day.

Once I've got my holes dug for the north line, I'll grab six umbrellas at a time and lay them all out, one beside each hole. I'll then go and pick each one up, pop/expand it, and stick it in the hole, packing sand down with my feet.

After that, it's time for chairs! Up to the chair stacks I go, unlocking the chain that runs through each chair and freeing enough for the day. Carrying three under each arm (a process called triple-stacking,) I put two under each umbrella. Sometimes, reservations will be for more than two, and that throws off the rhythm. Sometimes, if I really feel strong, I'll try a quad stack, but that takes a toll on your lower back. The chairs are cleverly designed so that they can lock together, letting you hold the outermost chair and pressing the whole assembly against your hip. (everyone's got these terrific bruises from it).

Once the north line's complete, it's the same process for the south line.
At the extreme end of the scale, here's the setup that two other guards and I triple-teamed for July 4th weekend. This was in Coligny beach, the islands most popular and populous beach access.

And that's just the south half; imagine the same thing on the north end too!

It takes about 2 minutes per set, so I can get 25 sets done in under 45 minutes, depending on how hard I hustle. During the setup, there's always one person who, ignoring the fact that 'this lifeguard is sweating and carrying six chairs at a run, and looks to be in the middle of something,' decides to stop me and ask me questions.

Once I'm all set up, I'll prepare my message board, and try to think of an interesting bit of trivia to put on it. One recent lousy-weather day, my Highchair guard and I came up with a big list of things to put in case I ever get stuck.

Once setup is complete, I'll usually have time to go for a dip in a nearby hotel pool or outdoor shower and put on sunscreen. Then I'll be back on the beach in time for my area head guard, making the rounds in the Beach Patrol jeep, to hand me my radio and change fund.

Then, its 9.00, and I'm in service. From then on, my priority is water safety, and Lifeguard stuff. I work with my highchair guard to keep the beaches and water safe, by reminding visitors of ordinances, and performing preventative actions. 

If we, as lifeguards, do our job properly, there should be very few emergencies, because we've worked to prevent them from happening in the first place. That's a big half of the job, and the other half is PR. Doing the rentals, being friendly, and answering the same question four hundred times in a day. ("No, those jellyfish washed up on the beach won't hurt you" and "yes, the tide is going out.")

The shuttles don't start taking Disney guests to the beach till 10, so i have some time to chat with my highchair guard and sit down and have a bite. Often, I'll have a banana, or rarely, as a post-setup treat, a Strawberry Pop-Tart. 

At around noon, the local Coast Guard Helicopter does a fly-over down the coast. 

Since we can't leave the highchairs unattended, I sit for my chair's lunch (30 mins) and then I'll take my lunch (45 mins). I snack throughout the day and usually finish my sandwich while I'm sitting chair, so mine is more of a break; a chance to get off the beach and rest for a bit. Here, I'll check emails or read news from back home on the CBC website. 

Back at work after lunch, it's more of the same: run rentals and guard the water and beach. At 5:00 exactly, all the guards douse their umbrellas and turn their attention to their lines of rental equipment. First to go away are the chairs, and then all the umbrellas are doused and put away. Finally, all the lifesaving equipment goes in the box. What took an hour to set up is usually away by 5:15, with the help of the highchair guard. 

I then pack up my backpack, go up to the showers to wash my feet off, and then it's off to the office on my bike. This is a 4 mile ride, and if I'm running on time that day, I'll be at the office at 5:35. All the guards check in at the office each evening- returning radios, restocking first aid supplies, and completing paperwork. 

Every guard turns in a report of the day's sales and the statistics on what events occurred that day (5 stingray wounds, 3 alcohol ordinance advisements). Highchair guards just do statistics. Paperwork becomes much more complex depending on whether you rent different types of equipment, like body boards and bikes and chairs.

The office in the evening is a hive of activity from 5:30 till 6:30, filled with sweaty and smelly guards hunched over adding machines, whirring and clacking their way through the day's receipts. The reward for our long day's toil is a 5-gallon jug of pink lemonade, with a stack of dixie cups next to it. After a tough day, there is no finer drink anywhere. Usually, there will be snacks, like Goldfish crackers, or peanut butter-filled pretzel blobs. On birthdays, we have a cake in the office for that person. Our new office manager is making some great impressions with her new Sunday tradition. Sundays, notorious for being the most taxing and busy day, are now home to many ice-cream treats on the counter. Talk about hitting the spot!

We have a chance to briefly chat with other guards while waiting in line for check-in, where the office staff check our reports and sign off. 

After that, I hop on my bike and ride the 5 miles back to the housing, where I stagger through the door and head straight into the shower. it's usually about 7:00 by the time I'm out of the shower and preparing dinner for myself. 

Lately, my roommate Zach and I have taken to watching an episode of Baywatch (thank you YouTube) after supper. We're now halfway through the first season! 

It's surprisingly exhausting, and by 9 I'm in bed. I often don't have energy to write these entries, which is why this one took a while. A chapter of my book, and then I'm fast asleep, ready for the next day. And the next. And the next. Until (mercifully) my day off, where I have time to shop, cheat and eat something unhealthy, do laundry, and rest. 

Next time on Danger Zone, I'm going to talk about the weekly trainings that we do!

Funny moment from today- A guy was napping on the sand as the tide was coming in. He was fast asleep until the water rushed towards him. It barely reached him, and at the slightest touch of the cold water, he yelped, lept up and did a very un-manly squirmy-dance. Almost immediately, he regained his composure and quickly glanced around, to see if anyone saw. I pretended I didn't. Big sunglasses are handy sometimes...

The Way the Wind Blows

The winds tend to prevail from the South down here. All the time, I see visitors on bikes blasting North, with the winds at their backs. The beach transport of choice for the visitor is the Single Speed Rental Bicycle. These are big, black, and heavy, and are built to take serious abuse – precision machines these ain’t. So when it comes time to turn around and head back down the beach, these happy-go-lucky cyclists get an unpleasant surprise. Hair flapping in the wind, their faces a mix of pain and grim determination, they wheeze and strain down the beach, leg muscles ablaze. (“Boy,” they must think, “I’m sure earning a great big 2000 calorie dinner tonight!”)

If I get the chance, I always tell folks starting out to head into the wind first. One lady was struggling, and asked as she rode by if I could “turn the wind down.” Which would have been much funnier if everyone else who griped about the wind or the weather wasn’t also a wise-ass. There must be a perpetual smart-aleck convention on Hilton Head. Hearing crack after crack really makes you realize how unoriginal people are with their wise-assery. (If everyone’s special, no one is…)

P.S.  I had thought about capitalizing ‘Visitor’, making it a proper noun, but then it would look like I was writing about extraterrestrials.

Entry the Second- Getting Here.

I’ve made it! Hello from warmer-than-Canada-land. This may be a bit longer than normal, as there were a lot of adventures crammed into a few days. My trip began on the afternoon of Friday the 2^nd.

FRIDAY

I spent the morning finishing all my packing and futzing about, making sure I had everything. (I do- or at least I think so.) The evening before I had visited my high school with friends to see opening night of their semi-annual musical production. Eastwood Collegiate has a special arts program, which sort of makes us the city’s performing arts high school. The acting and dancing and singing are always very impressive. I’d always been very involved with those during my 5 years there: first playing in the pit for Guys and Dolls, then doing sound for Footloose, and finally stage managing and designing the lighting for Wizard of Oz. I can honestly say I’ve never been prouder of anything I’ve ever done than Oz. Lets hope I top it someday, and not try and relive my high school days forever.  It was great to see old friends from the Tech Crew and to see the old building-practically nothing had changed. Catching up with everyone took me to 11:30pm though, and I had to go home to grab as much shut-eye as I could. 

After spending the morning packing, my parents came home at noon and drove me down to Buffalo, NY. After stopping at the border to activate my work visa (complete with irrational fear that I would say something wrong and be immediately deported), we went to a favourite place of ours for a lunch/snack. Viola’s Submarines is a wonderful shop in a not-so wonderful place. It’s directly across eight lanes of traffic from the Military Road Outlet Mall. The zoning in that area, and a few other spots around the states, always bugs me for some reason. I don’t like that the traffic lights are horizontal and black instead of big, vertical, and reflective yellow. I don’t like how everything is wide and low and sprawling. Although I might imagine someone who grew up in that area would have complaints about the zoning in southern Ontario…

 Back to the subs. Viola’s makes one heck of a Steak and Cheese sub. They use freshly baked Italian rolls, and as soon as you order, they throw several thin steaks on to a big griddle and finish them off by melting provolone on top. Then they throw it all in that bun and add lettuce, tomatoes, oil, and a concoction of herbs and seasoning so secret that if they told me, they’d have to kill me. I think it’s oregano, basil, and salt. It makes the tomato chunks like bruschetta! Then they wrap it in plastic, which keeps everything together and hot, and you can eat it by squeezing the bottom of the plastic and sliding the sub out, not unlike a tube of toothpaste. We discovered this peculiar method after watching the natives do it. The sub is really amazing, and is their best seller by a long shot. I asked them once if people really ordered anything else. “Oh sure,” the old Italian-American lady behind the counter replied. “Double Steak and Cheese.”

After a wonderful half-sub each, we went to a little go-kart track down the road. Dad and I raced while mum watched. There were three other kids on the track, and my father was the most badly behaved of all of us. Luckily he didn’t bother them, but he spun me out several times and the teen running the track had to ask him not to intentionally crash into others (me). All this time-killing was before we checked into our hotel for the evening; we got a hotel because I would’ve had to leave home at around 3am to make my flight otherwise, and my mum wanted to have one last nice dinner before I left.  And what a dinner it was! We went to the Anchor Bar, which is the birthplace of the chicken wing. I won’t go into much detail here, as there are many other write-ups elsewhere on the Internet. However, I will add that pretty much anytime we are in Buffalo, we will make sure to have a dinner there.

After leaving the Anchor, we drove to the hotel and passed through the area of the city that housed the University at Buffalo. It is an incredibly grand establishment with big stone buildings. Adjacent to campus were several fraternity and sorority houses. Mixed in to this student neighbourhood was a house with a sign that said “Buffalo Breast Exam Clinic.” I wasn’t sure if that was a legitimate clinic, or just the best frat house decoration in the world.

SATURDAY

The next morning I was off. Dropped off at the airport at six in the morning, I got through a surprisingly busy security line in only about seven minutes. I guess after thirteen years of being thorough, they’ve gotten around to being fast. I went from Buffalo to New York’s LaGuardia airport. The approach into LGA is always neat, because in addition to excellent views of New York City, the runway lines up with the water; looking out the window as your plane descends, it looks like you’re going to crash into the river, and then suddenly the runway appears beneath you and you’ve arrived. Waiting for my connection, I noticed a small brown bag that belonged to a lady siting across the way from me. Suddenly, the bag jiggled. Not expecting that at all, I nearly leapt out of my seat. I glanced about the terminal and was relieved to find that no one saw my momentary freak out. I returned my attention to the bag, where a small, brown, very ugly face stared back at me through mesh in one side of the bag. A gate attendant walked by and the bag yapped loudly at him, and he jumped up just like I had. “Hush, sweetums,” said its owner. Lining up for the plane, I found myself standing behind that ugly dog in the bag, and wondered when the last time was that that thing used the bathroom. I figured that kind of a smell on a plane would probably be worse than the infant equivalent.  

My flights were both pretty good- on the first I sat next to a girl who went to the University of Vermont, and before we took off, we had a discussion about Vermont’s many craft beers and ciders. Visiting Vermont in the winter with my family has definitely spoiled me in the drinks department. On the second flight, I was surrounded by Quebecers and avoided conversation.

Luckily, we made it to Savannah, GA without any ‘incidents’ and I was soon on the shuttle bus that went to Hilton Head. As we got closer and the driver asked where I wanted off, I learned that he could only drop off people at hotels. Problem. I had to go to the office first and get my keys to the condo. The driver, a grouch of an old man with hearing aids, apologised to me in a non-apologetic sort of way and said he wasn’t allowed to operate as a taxicab. There aren’t any hotels near the office, so I eventually was able to get him to let me off at a gas station a half-kilometre away. Suitcases in hand, I walked the last 500m to the Shore Base.

I’ll just hit the fast forward button here and say that I got my keys without incident, filled out all the paperwork, and went to my new place. I met one of my new roommates, Zach, who is a first year and from Ontario as well. 

As far as employee housing goes, the company rents condos from the Hilton Head Resort. Resort is a nice (but inaccurate) word. It’s the ‘bargain’ HHI condo complex. For short, it’s H2R. However, it is close to the beach, free of any major infestations, and security is tight. Sometimes a little too tight, as the guards get a little caught up in their power. (think Lahey and Randy from the Trailer Park Boys…)

The room is a much nicer affair that my place last year! To describe last year’s place, one American roommate used the word “Janky.” I figured out it meant a sort of cross between sketchy and ramshackle. This one is significantly less janky and rightly so, as upper years usually get better rooms.

My 2014 Pad

Zach’s parents were in town and drove him down and graciously offered to drive us to the Wal-Mart to do our first grocery shop. During the season, I often have to bring back the shopping on my bike. It’s not very fun, to say the least.

SUNDAY

The next day I went to a bike place on the island called the Bike Doctor. I had done some research and calling around, and after weighing some options, I decided to rent a bike this summer. Last year, I bought an el Cheapo-brand bike from Wal-Mart and it gave out halfway through August. The bike sucked, too. $120 doesn’t get you very far, it seems.

This year, I decided on renting a road bike- $400 for the whole summer. Both the guys in the small shop were very warm and helpful. The young man at the back took down the one I was interested in and set it all up- brakes, derailleurs, seat- and he even gave it a nice clean-up! The instant I took the bike for a once-around-the-block to make sure everything was working, it was immediately clear that I had made a good choice. It was a joy to ride, and for the next few days, I found myself wanting to take it out and just ride. It’s safe to say that it’s the best-looking and lightest bike I’ve ever owned. It’s maybe eight pounds. I think getting around by bicycle this year will be a lot more enjoyable, not to mention faster!

My 2014 Ride

Sunday afternoon saw me at the HHI rec centre, practising for my timed-swim-hiring-test. All guards have to swim a half-kilometre in under 10 minutes. I was practising with my colleague from last year, Emily, and her sister Hana. Just out of school, Emily isn’t eligible for the work visa this year and won’t be working for Shore; but she drove down with her sister, who is starting her first year. Hana goes to Queens with Zach, and that’s how he came to be working here! It is mostly connections here at Shore- there are very few guards who just come to work for the company out of the blue- almost everyone has a connection somewhere. I had the daughter of my mum’s colleague as mine.

I made my swim in 9:25 without any extreme exertion, and felt very proud of myself. Last year, I came down with a really terrible respiratory virus in the weeks before I left for the South. I wasn’t able to train, and only just got over the illness enough to barely make the timed swim.  This year, I was able to train in the pool in Toronto with my wonderful friend Gabby- we sort of kicked each other’s butts and pushed each other to get an even better workout. (Or at least it was that way for me… maybe she thinks I slowed her down. Hope not.)

Later that afternoon, itching for another ride on my aluminum steed, I went up to the Westin and visited my fantastic friends from last summer, Brent and his wife Natasha. Two years or so older than me, they moved out here for a great adventure and have been working ever since last June. Some of the other staff comment how their level of love and cuteness can't possibly actually exist, but they are 100% real: great guards, and wonderful people. 

Brent invited me, Zach, Hana, and Emily to join him and some of the other guards that evening for a little dinner at a Mexican place (that I’d never been) to for a “cinqo-de-mayo-eve” celebration. It was wonderful to see the two other old friends that joined us! It was like we’d never left each other for the winter: we just picked up old conversations and made jokes just as easy as you please.

MONDAY, TUESDAY, AND EVERYTHING ELSE

Monday and Tuesday was my orientation- returning guards have two days while newbies have three. It was a lot of reviewing procedures, treatments, ordinances, paperwork, and reviewing information on the climate and faunae of HHI. Monday also saw the swimming of the hiring test- I did slightly better than my practise swim! There weren’t any in our orientation session this week- relatively small at about 4 people- but some folks do it in under eight minutes. These people are usually competitive swimmers for their colleges, and are insane to watch. Others do 10 minutes on the dot, but when they come out, it’s clear that they’ve really exerted themselves. This can be bad in a rescue scenario, as swimming ends up being half of the rescue, the other half being care of the victim and, potentially, physically draining CPR.

There are more stories from orientation that I’ll share some time later when there’s not a whole lot of new material for me to write about. I had forgotten how absolutely drained you get after these long days out in the heat, biking everywhere. So, I’ll have to go now. My first day on the beach is tomorrow, and this will be the first time I’ve worked on the beach in over eight months. I hope I remember it all. A friend described orientation as a bunch of “well, duh…” moments, but when you get on the beach for the first time in a little while, you go “oh, crap!” and suddenly forget the really obvious things. Hopefully I get right back into the swing of things.

That’s all for now, folks. I attach, as a post-script, a picture of myself from tonight. I wonder what I’ll look like in a month’s time?